Lol boyfriends

[Squeezit]

Random old chic friend texts me out of the blue, we catch up and say hi and stuff. Nothing bad nothing sexual etc.
1 hour later her boyfriend randomly texts me and starts threatening my life.
I laugh my ass off.

Him: (after I explained to him how I complimented her and he's an over jealous protective idiot)
Your words mean nothing other than you know absolutely nothing, but I'll fix that so what's your address again?
Me: My words mean nothing because you're too stupid to comprehend anything other than getting your ass beat. But eh, alright here's my address (I gave him Pizza Huts Address In Phoenix), Now lets see if you have the guts to actually show up.


For the record I've been utterly polite besides my obvious sarcasm to him (well my politeness is sarcasm) which pisses him off more and makes this so much more exciting

[Number4429]

Sounds like he has a case of the small penis

[Squeezit]

That would explain why he's so insecure.
I mean if I was hitting on his girlfriend I could understand. But she texted me out of nowhere. And we only chatted as old friends would chat

[Iron Blue Arremer]

Maybe he's not quite secure regarding his sexuality, which makes him extremely over-protective over his girlfriend, because he wants to be sure that he isn't gay?

[Number4429]

"Your words mean nothing other than you know absolutely nothing, but I'll fix that..."

I think Iron Blue Arremer's right, that sounds pretty gay to me. Just read it in George Takei's voice and all becomes clear.

[romertremor]

You should tell him his girlfriend has been screwing you on the side, just to make him insecure

[Squeezit]

^ haha, that would be pretty great.
Would piss her off at me, but considering she hasn't stepped up and called him an idiot for starting this shit, I don't really care.